Growth

Insanity. INSANITY. I-N-S-A-N-I-T-Y.

~ J.Lynn24 ~ 4 Comments

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Insanity. Insanity. Insanity. Insanity.

I can type the letters I-N-S-A-N-I-T-Y in that exact order as many times as I want to, hoping each time that a new word will emerge, but the result will always be the same word: Insanity.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting a different result. So, allow me to ask a question — you can choose if it will be a rhetorical one.

Are you insane?

Perhaps I should rephrase and redirect the question: Am I insane?

To answer the question, let me propose a hypothetical situation. Imagine I’m following a road. La dee da, there I go, ambling along the road before me. Suddenly, as I’m walking, I run into a huge brick wall that just happens to be blocking the entire road in front of me.

I persistently continue walking, but each time, I walk into this brick wall. Again and again, I try to keep walking on this road. Again and again, I run into that wall.

If you saw me attempt this feat, I hope you’d say something like, “You know, I don’t think that’s the best road to follow. Maybe you should go around the wall or take a different road.” But you’d probably snicker and be more like, Okay, this girl has some issues. 

Yes, I’m being slightly facetious since I doubt the majority of us will ever actually encounter a scenario like this.

But what about those of us who keep facing the same struggles in our lives and keep failing to overcome them? Because if you’re anything like any other human in the world, it’s highly likely that you’re facing — or have faced — some obstacles in your life.

I don’t want to waste my life running into the same roadblocks. But to overcome those roadblocks, that means changing something. And it seems odd, but change often correlates with humility.

Snap. Did I just say that?

Yep, I did.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Perseverance and determination are also essential for change and for overcoming challenges. But I think the first step just might be humility.

If you’ve used Google Maps, Waze or any GPS app, chances are you’ve heard the word, “Recalculating.”

recalculating gif
There are an assortment of reasons that could prompt the word. Maybe there’s road construction or an accident along the way. Maybe there’s a mass exodus of drivers to the grocery stores in lieu of an impending winter storm, causing an insane amount of traffic. Maybe you made the wrong turn.

But all of those reasons boil down to the fact that the route you were originally following wasn’t the optimal choice. It wasn’t perfect.

So, you have to adjust. And that can be hard to do because that means maybe, just maybe, you aren’t perfect. And, let’s be honest, who likes admitting that?

But I don’t want to refuse to adjust my path because I’m too proud, afraid, lethargic or stubborn.

At some point then, don’t we need to rethink something? Don’t we need to recalculate and adjust? Don’t we need to admit that something needs to change?

Maybe you’re not content with the progress — or the lack of progress — you’re making. Maybe you wish you were on a different path, but you’re too afraid of change. Maybe you’re just comfortable with the same old routine you’ve been performing for years now. Maybe you think you deserve the bruises that brick wall keeps giving you.

But I challenge you — just like I challenge myself — to look at the road you’re on right now and assess both your progress and the destination you’re pressing toward. Are you getting where you want to be? Or are you stuck in a gif-like loop of walking into the same brick wall?

wall gif

On onions and ACL injuries

~ J.Lynn24 ~ 1 Comment

IMG_9231I realized today I really wanted to write something on my blog, but had no idea what to write about.

And honestly, at first, onions popped into my head.

My mind eventually turned to where I was around this time three years ago. In September 2014, I hurt my left knee during a flag football intramural game. I drove back home and had my dad assess the already swelling and throbbing injury.

The next couple of days, my knee didn’t get better and I was scheduled for an MRI. The MRI results came back and the doctor confirmed our suspicions that I had torn my ACL. I would need reconstructive surgery if I wanted to be able to play basketball or other sports in the future.

One thing you should know about me: I hate needles and get pretty squeamish at the thought of a scalpel cutting into my flesh. So, surgery was pretty much my worst nightmare come true.

But I wanted to actually be able to play sports again.

In November 2014, I went in for surgery, where the doctor replaced my torn ACL with a portion of my own hamstring muscle combined with muscle from some person I’ll never know (I’ve dubbed him Stefan).

Let’s just say this was a hard time for me. The injury had happened early in my junior year of college, so I was missing that entire year of basketball and other sports. Physical therapy was a long process of re-learning how to walk correctly, trying to reach full extension with my knee and leg strengthening.

I remember searching Google, reading about other people who had torn their ACLs and promised it would get better in time. And I remember having a hard time believing them.

But I did believe something else. I knew God was there with me, throughout the entire process. My injury hadn’t come as a surprise to Him. No, He didn’t prevent it from happening, but He didn’t just abandon me when I was hurting.

I would not have been able to walk into that hospital, have the IV stuck in my arm and lie down on that hospital bed, while the doctor marked my knee with an X, if I hadn’t known God was in control. Trust me, I would have been freaking out. But I prayed for peace, and He gave me a quiet assurance that everything would be fine.

Maybe I will come back to the topic of onions.

Leo shrugging
Sometimes we have our lives planned out exactly as we think they should go. But just as Shrek said there are layers to ogres, there are also layers to life.

Often, we see only the outside layer — the immediate circumstances that surround us. And in life, those circumstances sometimes stink.

As we get deeper into life’s layers, however, we realize there’s more than just the immediate. It might be painful as we peel away those outer layers to get to the core of a situation. There might be some crying involved. There might be some chopping and dicing away.

But just as those steps are needed to prepare an onion to fulfill its part in a recipe, sometimes those steps are necessary for us in life — to grow, to mature, to develop into the type of person we choose to be.

What can you learn from these difficult times?

I would have never planned to tear my ACL and have surgery. But I can tell you that I now rarely take for granted my ability to run or play basketball. Sometimes that twinge in my knee is a great reminder of the journey it took to get to this point. And it reminds me of how God not only promised to take care of me, but how He followed through on that promise.

And if that was the only lesson learned from that particular moment in my life, I think it’s a pretty solid one.

Besides, now I have that much more in common with Tom Brady, Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski. Sorry, not sorry, I’m a diehard Patriots fan.

embedded in the moments of growth

~ J.Lynn24 ~ Leave a comment

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As an adult, it is easy
to reflect on your life
and pinpoint various
moments of growth —
but as a child, those times
of growth are often
challenging and arduous

for embedded in the
moments of growth
are moments of pain —
growing pains that ache
and throb — subtle thieves
that attempt to diminish
your achievements

for embedded in the
moments of growth
are moments of forbearance —
a patience that must be
learned — as others grow
at a faster pace, while you
wait and wait and wait

for embedded in the
moments of growth
are moments at rock bottom —
when you’re buried under
stress and expectations —
the heavy soil impeding
your journey to the sun

but it is from those moments —
the pain, the long-suffering,
the rock bottom —
that measurements gain meaning —
for once you reach a certain height,
it is then that you can look back
upon that low point and say,

“That point right there —
that’s where I’ve come from.”

Change

~ J.Lynn24 ~ Leave a comment

Change

I realized today that I have been absolutely awful at keeping up with this whole blog thing. So to all of my avid fans and followers (I can dream, right?), I extend my humble apology. But my deficiency has been for a good reason (as opposed to laziness or lethargy… or the fact that I may or may not have forgotten about it). Nope, it’s mostly thanks to change. Tell me more, you ask. Certainly.

I have been experiencing a lot of change in my life recently — moving out, becoming independent, more responsibilities at work and life in general, my impending senior year of college, thoughts about where I’m going to end up in the future — and I have grown to realize that I actually like change. Change is so often feared, which I definitely understand. “Making or becoming different” is in the definition of the word and that sounds pretty daunting. I doubt most people like to think that they, or their lives, need improvement.

But then, as a co-worker and I were brainstorming about ways to change/move things around at work, I had an epiphanic moment (that might be a bit dramatic, but it’s just such a cool word). It dawned on me that change means something. It means that something is happening in your life, allowing the chance for growth and the possibility for a better life. Maybe it’s something small and seemingly insignificant, like changing from Glad trash bags to Hefty trash bags. Or maybe it’s huge and life-changing, like moving away from home. But when that trash bag doesn’t rip open anymore (I am in no way promoting or belittling a particular brand of trash bags) or you meet your best friend/soul mate/long-lost twin/[insert here] in your new hometown, that change doesn’t seem as scary or horrible.

So often, it’s hard to look past those decisions looming over you and see the countless possibilities that come after. But they are out there. And while you may differ in opinion, I believe that those chances are offered by God. We don’t have to remain stagnant; we can grow. Instead of staying in a rut (even if it is a smooth, well-paved rut), maybe you can choose to accept that opportunity as means to better yourself.

And that’s what I think is pretty cool. With every change that we experience, we have the opportunity to accept it and to actively upgrade ourselves and our lives.

And now for a teaching moment:

Think about money. The change that you get back from the store doesn’t really seem like much. Maybe you’ll throw that dime away, or lose it, or give it as a tip. Or maybe, you can choose to put it in a jar, along with the other nine dimes that you kept. Lookie there, a whole dollar. Now you can go to Cumbie’s and buy any size of coffee that you want. Or you can just keep on saving those dimes in a jar and once that jar is full, put that money toward your student loans… Every little bit counts, right? So you get my point. If you choose to see that change as significant, it will be. Maybe it just takes some time.

P.S. If you ever find me complaining about impending changes in my life, feel free to call me out and remind me about this blog post.